Total Recall

Roll up, roll up to enjoy (or not) the latest unnecessary remake from Hollywood. Off the rank this week is Total Recall, an update on Paul Verhoeven’s effort from 1990. Say what you want about Verhoeven’s effort, at least it had the guts to set its stall out to say what it was and moaners be damned. This new production from Len Wiseman is powder puff in the extreme and some decent CGI can’t mask the fact that this follows the path of most of the recent reimagining’s or later entries of franchises that first showed their hand in the late 1980’s / early 1990’s. i.e. that of taking something that was dark, brutal and thrilling and compromising on it in order to get a lower certificate at the box office and more takings from unsuspecting punters. Despite a few tweaks this isn’t too dissimilar plot wise from Verhoeven’s film. This time out though we have Colin Farrell in the lead role as Douglas Quaid, a factory worker who visits a company that implants fake memories into people of lives they would preferred to have led. However, something appears to go wrong with Quaid’s treatment and he suddenly finds himself accused of being a spy and he goes on the run from shadowy forces (which include his wife Lori (Kate Beckinsale)), whilst being aided by a mysterious woman played by Jessica Biel. Despite looking good, the film is soulless and devoid of thrills. Wiseman is a mediocre director at best so I can only assume that he got the gig because a) he was cheap and b) his films are the text book definition of style over substance. The biggest irony of all is that Wiseman (and screenplay writers Kurt Wimmer and Mark Bomback) have tried to counter balance the main accusations put to Verhoeven's film (that of its crunching violence and its less than charming portrayal of women), but have completely missed the point that it was a satire. So in this film we have a virtually bloodless world meaning the fight scenes come across as tame and terribly choreographed. On the female front we now have two women pushed into supporting roles, but they’ve both completely non-descript (they even look and dress alike!) and Beckinsale proves once again she can’t do anything apart from stand around and look hot. They’re not the only ones with no character development though as the films chief villain (played by Bryan Cranston) is so underwritten he only appears for what must amount to less than a few minutes screen time. Farrell fares slightly better in the lead role, but this is further proof that he’s great in low budget films, but struggles when it comes to these types of blockbusters. This could have been much improved if Wiseman, Wimmer and Bomback hadn’t taken it all so seriously and had thrown in some tongue in cheek humour, although watching Farrell (mid 30’s) and Cranston (mid 50’s) go at it in a smack down does at least provide some unintentional guffaws.

The OC Film Sting Final Verdict

Not the worst remake ever, but still an unnecessary one. A waste of your time and money if you do see it and there’ll be no Rekall Incorporated waiting to help you out afterwards, either. Rating: 5/10.