300: Rise Of An Empire / Pompeii

It's double review time again, this time the tenuous link being swords, sandals, computer generated imagery and, er, history. Starting off with 300: Rise Of An Empire, director Noam Murro's (no me neither) film is the the follow up to Zack Snyder’s seriously over-rated 300, though it actually takes place around the same time of the battle depicted in that film. To go into plot, characters etc. would take forever, but it's basically 300 again, though this time mainly set at sea. There's clunky dialogue, male characters who all look alike (apart from one who looks like Zlatan Ibrahimović) and 99% special effects. So, as you were then basically. Though this time there's also a sex scene so bizarre it genuinely looks like it's been cut in from a soft porno. If you like hacking and slashing there’s plenty of red stuff on show (at one point someone's head meets a horses hoof with very squelchy results), but it does little to challenge the preconception that once you've seen one CGI slicing with a sword you've seen them all. On the plus side Eva Green is good fun as the main baddie and some of the battles at sea are genuinely ingenious with one including the most surprising appearance of a horse since Caesar climbed aboard one in Rise of the Planet of the Apes. In the end though there's nothing here to suggest that this was more than just a sequel for sequel's sake and the whole thing just lacks soul. Murro was slated to direct A Good Day To Die Hard, but dropped out to direct this. Looks like he would have lost either way. Anyway, moving on it’s Paul W. S. Anderson time! Settle down there at the back. Anderson easily makes the short list for worst director of the last twenty years but, much like a broken clock still showing the correct time twice a day, occasionally he gives us something that isn't actually all that bad. The anomaly this time is Pompeii which, despite appearances, just about sneaks into the guilty pleasure bracket. The basic storyline is as old as Pompeii itself, as a boy from the wrong side of the tracks (in this case a slave played by Kit Harington) catches the eye of a girl (Emily Browning as the daughter of a city ruler) from a social standing miles above him. Will true love prevail, not only over the social divide, but also over a volcano in a very bad mood indeed? The thing about disaster films is that you can’t just show a load of death and destruction without a human element to engage the audience and, though they're written pretty thinly, Anderson makes us care about the characters. Browning and Harington will probably only appeal to certain demographics of the audience, but for the rest of use we can enjoy Kiefer Sutherland (who at times sports an accent that is so bizarre it looks as if he’s attempting an impression of Anthony Hopkins whilst wearing a gum shield), clearly having great fun as a Roman Senator and his dry comment when watching a re-enactment of a slaughter during a gladiatorial smack down provides the film with a high moment of subtle laughter amongst all the mayhem. Though Anderson has received lots of praise for the historical accuracy of the Pompeii he's put on screen and the depiction of the eruption of Vesuvius itself (when the old girl finally erupts its an impressive moment and nicely pitched dramatically) you get the feeling that (though morally not really all that on), for once he isn't taking things too seriously himself either. 300 Rating: 5/10. Pompeii Rating: 7/10.

The Lego Movie

Phil Lord and Chris Miller have only been around for a few years, but they already have some serious pedigree. First up was 2009's under seen but widely praised Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs. Next they gave us one of the best comedies of recent years with 21 Jump Street and, lets be honest, who saw that coming. Recently they've given us the worthy Brooklyn Nine-Nine television series, but now they return to their computer animated cinematic roots with The Lego Movie which, despite not hitting the heights of their earlier output, still has enough original thoughts and laugh out loud moments to make it one of the films of the year so far. The storyline is as standard (basically good vs evil) as it is gets, so lets concentrate on other aspects. First up are the visuals which, despite being computer animated, have been done in such a way that it comes across as stop motion, deftly reflecting the way you would use Lego piece by piece in reality. It's a smart touch. In respect of the humour it's Lord and Millers usual mix of jokes for the adults (there's plenty of satire in here, mainly based on the characters happiness about everything - see (or hear) the films signature tune - "Everything Is Awesome") and colourful mayhem for kids. Lord and Miller also utilise the physical traits of the Lego characters in a number of imaginative ways (Liam Neeson is a police officer who has a two-sided head which means he literally changes between Good Cop / Bad Cop) and nostalgia abounds in many places, not least with the appearance of the astronaut figure with worn-out logo and broken helmet. The film does have couple of problems though. The first is that it's just too manic for it's own good and things start to get exhausting rather than staying constantly thrilling (and on that note some of the action scenes are so briskly edited it's hard to tell what's going on - listen out for a Wilhelm Scream though!). Secondly. and somewhat spoiling the whole party, the ending is truly terrible as we partially enter the "real" world in order to tie up a number of plot points. No doubt it happens due to what must have been agreed with the Lego company itself (and its marketing concerns) in the pre-filming negotiations, but it means the production limps over the finish line. Rating: 7/10.

Need For Speed

Though he's appeared in a few films over the years, now that Breaking Bad has ended it's time for Aaron Paul to properly kick start his big screen career. One of his new vehicles (sorry) is Need For Speed, which has Paul (who appears to have been spending his Bad wages at McDonalds) starring as a street racer who, stop me if you've heard this one before, is framed for a crime he did not commit and on release drives cross-country on a mission of revenge. Or something like that. The plot is basically a side issue here as it's all about the cars and I'm sure petrol heads will get their fix from what's on show. In addition, there's good news for anyone who is moaning about the quieter F1 engines as this film is loud, loud, loud. Comparisons with Fast and Furious can't be ignored, but whereas that series spectacularly floundered as soon as it went computer effects heavy, the film makers here have gone with practical effects and it adds some metal bending realism and genuine danger to the proceedings. Paul (though not really having much to do) is solid enough, with his laid back style of acting evoking (intentionally or not) the road movies of the 1960's and 1970's, but the supporting cast is hit and miss. Imogen Poots provides some sass as Paul's front seat passenger and Rami Malek gets the best job quitting scene in years. Less enjoyable is Scott Mescudi who is irritating beyond belief, playing the sort of wise cracking smart ass that can only best be described as a Berkshire Hunt. If there's a more annoying character put on celluloid this year we'll all be very unlucky indeed. Director Scott Waugh previously only had the critically panned Act of Valor under his belt. He does a better job here but, at the end of the day, isn't this just an amalgamation of all of the Smokey and the Bandit films? Rating: 6/10.

The Grand Budapest Hotel

I've said this before about Wes Anderson, but there can't be a film maker alive today who's idiosyncratic style is so paramount you can tell who the director is within thirty seconds of the film beginning. For The Grand Budapest Hotel it takes about five seconds. The rest you know. Kitsch sets. The lock-pan-lock camera movements. The mix of live action and (knowingly) obvious special effects. The ensemble cast. This is quintessential Anderson all the way. Arguably, it's also the most audience accessible film he's ever given us, with word of mouth helping to contribute to its impressive box office return. Overall though, it's just more fun than what you'd expect from Anderson. Set in a fictional European state in the the early 1930's we follow Ralph Fiennes as concierge Gustave in the aforementioned hotel, who finds himself framed for murder following his inheritance of one of his guests valuable paintings. As this is Anderson you'll be unsurprised to hear there's a lot more going on as well, but Gustave's storyline is the focal point and rightfully so. Fiennes is hilarious and gives one of his best turns for years, portraying Gustave as a proud man with an eye to detail and a loyalty to all those around him, but it's the moments of touching insecurity and cheerfully comic swearing that really add to the performance. On the aesthetic front Anderson's use of models and hand painted back drops is a nice compliment to the old fashioned setting. Throw in some surprising moments of gore and some laugh out loud one-liners and you start to wonder where this side of Anderson has been hiding. It's not all gravy though. The marketing has made use of its wide cast, but many actors (virtually all Anderson regulars) only pop up for 30 second (or less) cameos and, Gustave aside, there's virtually no characterisation anywhere else. Anderson also continues his unfortunate wont of including scenes where animals are harmed and the one here is drastically unfunny. In the end though the good outweighs the bad and you even get to see Willem Dafoe (as an enforcer) looking more like someone from the undead than he did in Shadow Of The Vampire. Rating: 7/10.