The perceived wisdom is that critics (what ever the discipline) have more fun tearing apart something dire than giving praise to something of artistic merit. I'm not sure that's quite true as I want to spend as little time as possible passing comment on the latest cinematic travesty from our old friend Michael Bay. In fact, if I add this is the new Transformers film from the Bayster, do I really need to type much more? In order for completion I will confirm what you already suspect. Yes, this is over long, loud, stuffed with awful one-liners and is basically scene after scene of the same battle being repeated over and over. At least the awful Shia LaBeouf has been jettisoned, but his replacement as the male lead in the form of the bland Mark Wahlberg is like discovering you've won a million on the lottery, but then discovering it's a million Italian Lira. Any plus points? Well you can't fault the special effects and Stanley Tucci is fun as the smarmy businessman planning on building his own robots, but unless there is some sort of alteration in the space-time continuum, like a goat chained to a post, the output of a Michael Bay film will always chew the cud within a limited circle of mediocrity. Perhaps I'll leave the final word to a young girl who, at a screening of a different film I was at, when Wahlberg popped up to present the trailer to this film with the words "I'm hear to introduce the trailer of my new film Transformers: Age Of Extinction", she replied out loud for the whole cinema to hear "No thanks". Smart girl, she'll go far. Rating: 3/10.
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